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Missy Off Cams

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Missy
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Seventh year Anniversary Sixth year Anniversary Fifth year Anniversary
« on: June 17, 2017, 08:11:12 pm »

OOC Note: These are some off cam segments previously used in another fed, but which have relevance, especially to the ongoing animosity between Missy and Cassandra. All scenes included are Off Camera.
 
Strangers
Tuesday 6th September 2016 AFTERNOON
Boston, Massachusetts

 
It had been a restless night. Despite the comfortable bed in her hotel room Missy had spent it pacing, barefoot across the plush carpet. She knew Cassandra and could tell there was something more to this visit than met than eye. Was it some kind of elaborate trap to drag her back to London, kicking and screaming….no - even Cassandra wasn't so stupid as to try and force Missy into something she didn’t want to do. She had no idea what her sister had up her sleeve but she knew there was something. 
 
She wasn’t due to meet Cassandra for another couple of hours but sitting in her hotel room obsessing over what her sister had planned was driving her to the brink of insanity; she had to get out, even if it meant walking around aimlessly until the time to meet arrived.
 
Leaving the hotel lobby and making her way along the street she pulled her mobile phone from the pocket of her blue jeans and swiped until she reached the familiar blue twitter icon. Twitter usually had something going on; someone there who could distract her, at least for a short time, from the thoughts of what she was about to face. The app sprang to life but as she scrolled down the page she realised it wasn't going to be the distraction she wanted or needed. “Typical, the one time I need distracting and there's nothing going on.” An elderly gentleman passing her by gave her a confused glance as she spoke the words aloud. 
 
With nothing else for it she entered the closest store; buying a magazine and a bottle of iced tea she made her way to the Mandarin Oriental Hotel which Cassandra had informed her she would be staying in and took a seat on a bench, across the street, facing the entrance to the building. This way she knew she’d be able to spot Cassandra arriving and get this whole debacle over with as soon as possible. All she could do, for now at least, was wait.
 
As the time ticked past every car pulling up had her peering over the top of her glossy magazine. She'd been on the same page for the last hour and still wouldn't be able to tell what it contained if someone was to quiz her on it; some Hollywood couple’s clandestine relationship, more than likely.
 
Just as she was considering giving up the wait completely; slinking back to her hotel room and passing the whole experience off as a bad dream, a car engine disturbed her train of thought. She watched intently as the driver opened the rear door, allowing its occupant to slide elegantly from the confines of the back seat.
 
If she hadn’t have been expecting it, seeing her mirror image across the street from her could have been a shock to the system. This was it; she was here now, there was no turning back. Taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly, she got to her feet and closed the magazine, depositing it haphazardly in a trashcan at the end of the bench. “Shadow.” Missy called to her from the opposite side of the parked car, pausing Cassandra in her tracks; half inside and half outside the doorway to the lobby of the hotel.
 
A smirk crept onto Cassandra’s face as she spotted Missy; it was obvious Missy was agitated and that had been exactly what she had wanted. “Hello Missy, you’re early. I’m guessing that’s probably not because you were excited to see me?”
 
The disdain couldn’t be hidden; even if Missy had wanted to hide it - which she didn’t. “No. Let’s just get this over with. I want you out of my hair and on the next flight back to London.” Cassandra had no choice but to step aside as Missy strode past her into the lobby.
 
“You might want to wait for me sis, since you know, it’s my room and I still need to check in.” This was causing Cassandra more pleasure than she’d even imagined. Missy’s apprehension and anger were radiating towards her in growing waves; they were almost palpable. “Unless you want all of our dirty laundry aired right here in the lobby?”
 
She hated feeling so impotent. Cassandra was holding all the cards and they both knew it. “Fine, just hurry up.” Leaning against the wall she crossed her arms over her chest.
 
Finally, after Cassandra had taken her time and asked the receptionist every question that you could possibly want to know about the hotel or Boston, they were on their way to Cassandra’s hotel suite. Reaching the elevator Cassandra stepped to one side and held out her arm towards the open door. “After you, sis.”
 
“Will you stop calling me that, you lost that right the night I found out about you and Andrew.” Missy stepped past Cassandra once again and into the elevator. “You remember that don’t you? There was a camera there so anyone who watched the SWF show got to see in detail what a grade A bitch you are.”
 
Cassandra pressed the button to start the elevator on its ascent before turning to Missy; her previous smirk replaced with a cruel smile. “What’s wrong? Are you jealous that I’m a better bitch than you? I mean, I am the one that gets to climb into bed with Andrew every - “
 
The slap cut Cassandra’s words in their tracks and echoed throughout the elevator; she hadn’t been able to control herself. Missy knew that it was probably playing straight into Cassandra’s hands but there was something satisfying about the sting in her palm and the growing red mark on her sister’s cheek. The ping of the elevator indicating they had reached their destination cut through the tension.
 
“I’ll let you have that one for free Missy….” Cassandra’s words trailed off as she stepped from the elevator with Missy following behind. Reaching the Dynasty Suite, Cassandra opened the door and swept into the room; no pretence of holding the door for Missy this time - highlighted by the fact that had it not been for Missy’s very well timed side-step that she would have had the door impact her face.
 
Slamming the door behind her Missy looked around the luxurious suite; of course her sister had spared no expense in getting the opulent suite. She was only staying for a couple of nights, what was the point? Neither her, nor her sister were anywhere near strapped for cash, the difference being Missy didn’t flaunt her wealth the way Cassandra did; she actually preferred for people not to know of her more than healthy bank balance that had been amassed from years of hard work. “I see you spared no expense as usual.”
 
Cassandra smirked as she looked around her surroundings. “It’s okay I guess… I’ve had better.” Heading straight for the mini bar she spoke to Missy without looking at her. “Drink?”
 
Although Missy didn’t want to be social with Cassandra the dutch courage would come in useful; it took some effort to bite back the response that she really wanted to give but she managed it. “The usual..if you remember what that is.”
 
“Of course I remember.” Cassandra busied herself with the drinks pouring Missy a large double measure of whiskey, whilst unbeknown to Missy pouring herself a tonic water. Disposing of the empty bottles she turned, handing Missy the brown liquid. “Shall we toast?”
 
Missy didn’t need to say the words for her point to be made; her face said it all for her, no she didn’t want to toast, she would have much preferred to throw the drink in Cassandra’s face. “Just get on with it, will you. What are you doing here?” She accepted the drink nonetheless and sat down, uninvited at one of the eight chairs surrounding the large dining table. Missy wanted to keep this rendezvous as impersonal as possible. “I can’t think of anything we possibly have to talk about Cassandra. You said everything the last time I saw you face to face, the day I walked into your office during your stint as GM of SWF.” Although it had been more than half a year ago Missy could still remember every detail; every expression on her sister’s face; every single cutting word that had torn her world apart. There was nothing that her sister could say to her now that she wanted to hear; nothing that Cassandra could do to hurt her more than she already had.
 
Cassandra’s smile grew larger as she eyed Missy with her head tilted slightly to the right. “Okay, you don’t want small talk? Fine! I came here because there’s something I had to tell you in person.” She knew what Missy’s reaction was likely to be and she couldn’t wait to see it, she’d travelled all the way from London especially for it. “Me and Andrew are having a baby - I’m pregnant.” There it was… the colour drained from Missy’s face and the expression was akin to someone having just been severely winded. It was better than she’d even imagined it could be. “Aren’t you going to congratulate me?”
 
Without speaking a word or even looking at Cassandra, Missy quietly stood from her seat and walked the short distance to the door leading out the suite. The large room suddenly felt extremely claustrophobic to her and she needed to escape. With one hand on the door handle she spoke in almost a whisper. “Goodbye Cassandra.”
 
 
Wrong Place, Right Time.
Tuesday 6th September 2016 NIGHT
Boston, Massachusetts

 
She’d lost track of how many she’d had now but the woozy feeling was telling her she should probably stop. Usually she might have done but that wouldn’t help to erase the words ‘I’m pregnant’ that her sister had spoke almost 6 hours before. 
 
Missy had stumbled from Shadow’s hotel and straight into the nearest bar. Now here she sat, drunk, alone and numb. Those words had been like a knife to her heart. How stupid could she have been to have thought, that nothing could hurt her more, than when she’d heard her sister admit to sleeping with the man she had loved; the venom at the time had seeped into her veins but this...this made that feel like it had been a merry walk in the park.
 
“Same again.” Missy called to the bartender who had been idly leaning up against the bar a few steps away from her. “Are you sure, love? You’ve had quite a bit already.” Looking up her expression said everything he needed to know. As he dutifully flipped the lid from a bottle of beer and poured the double measure whiskey chaser; the same order she’d been having all night, Missy checked her phone and noticed the familiar Twitter notification icon at the top of her screen.
 
The bartender, somewhat reluctantly, passed both drinks across to her. “Thanks.” She said automatically as she went to the Twitter icon to find Katie’s name in her mentions. She hadn’t explained to any of her friends, not even Amanda, where she was going and why; so it wasn’t surprising that they’d be worried about her. She hated having her private business on Twitter but she had to explain, after a couple of cursory tweets she told Katie she’d text her. 
 
This wasn’t going to be an easy conversation, considering the fact she would rather not speak, or even think about what had happened in the last 24 hours but she pressed the messaging icon anyway. It took quite a few messages back and forth but she finally filled Katie in on the whole story, and asked her to look after Amanda. She needed some time alone, away from everyone.
               
“Hey sweetheart, how about some company? A pretty little thing like you shouldn’t be drinking alone.” A man said as he approached, taking Missy’s lack of response as agreement the man slid up beside her; close enough to invade her personal space without actually crossing that invisible line into touching her. “I’m fine, thanks.” Missy responded curtly.
 
Putting his arm around her waist he pulled her towards him; reacting quickly, despite her alcohol level Missy pulled free and moved back away out of his reach. “Come on sweetheart don’t play hard to get.” His attempts at being smooth were severely hampered by his sleazy tone and cheesy pick up moves.
 
The disgust in her eyes was evident as she looked him up and down. “Who’s playing? I’m just trying to have a quiet drink here, will you please just leave me alone.” Rather than have the desired affect of him departing and leaving her to her attempt to drown her sorrows, he seemed to take her words to be an invite and placed his hand on her denim clad thigh.
 
Strangely, Missy turned to him and smiled calmly. “I’ll only warn you once, you have until the count of five to get your hand off of me.” She spoke quietly, loud enough only for him to hear.
 
As she began to count he made no attempt to move, instead he smirked at her. “Come on, you know you want it, little lady. You’re asking for it.”
 
“Four.” She wrapped her fingers around her beer bottle.
 
“Five.” She reached out her free hand and wrapped it in his shirt pulling him closer to her and down slightly so that they were face to face.
 
Her smile never faltered as she moved quickly and head butted him. The blood began to pour from his nose as she raised the beer bottle high. Missy didn’t hear the bartender on the phone to the police, the sound of smashing glass and the thud as the creep hit the floor the only thing she could focus on. She didn’t even see them enter through the door and make a beeline toward her. She sure as hell noticed them when they dragged her from her seat and she felt the cold unyielding cuffs being snapped into place….”Fuck!”
 
“You have the right to remain silent…”
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Missy
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Seventh year Anniversary Sixth year Anniversary Fifth year Anniversary
« Reply #1 on: June 17, 2017, 08:14:16 pm »

Homeward Bound
7th October 2016
London, England

 
Despite everything that had happened the last time she had been in London she felt strangely calm, as if she had come home. Even the grey clouds overhead; threatening a downpour which would have Londoners sheltering under umbrellas and pulling their collars up against the chill, as they continued on their fast pace rush from place to place, didn’t quell the feeling of relief at being on familiar ground.
 
She’d pre-booked her rental car from the plane to try and speed up her departure from the crowded airport but in typical London fashion the reservation hadn’t been logged on the system. Trying to explain to the extremely uninterested clerk was taking her last shred of patience and she feared that soon she would just lean over the counter separating them and shake the poor girl until the disinterested look left her face.
 
“I’m sorry ma’am there is no reservation under that name on my system."The words had a not too subtle hint of accusation in Missy’s direction.
 
Composing herself to save from yelling a string of expletives Missy took a deep breath in, exhaling it slowly through gritted teeth."Then your system is obviously wrong. I booked the car from the plane, I have the confirmation email, which I have just shown you twice. So rather than repeating yourself like Polly the Parrot, how about you actually do your job and get me the keys to a car."
 
Shock registered briefly on the assistant's face."I’ll have to add your reservation manually because it’s not on the system."
 
“I have been on a plane for the last twelve hours, I’m tired, I’m cranky and to top all of that I have just stood here arguing with you for the last half an hour; a time I’m sure you could have spent entering the reservation manually five times over. I just want to get out of this hot, crowded, airport, so if you wouldn’t mind shifting up a gear to save us both from me blowing my top. Okay?"The overly calm tone was probably worse than if she had of shouted; the implied threat behind her cool exterior was subtle but obviously genuine.
 
The assistant looked as if she was ready to argue but within seconds she’d thought better of it."Yes, of course ma’am."
 
Within five minutes she was finally on her way to the car-park to locate the car which she had been informed was a black, ford focus; not the model she’d booked but she probably would have accepted a robin reliant just to be able to get out of the damn airport.
 
It had been way too long since she’d last stepped foot in her house in London but turning the key in the lock, it could quite easily have been just yesterday. Despite having been empty for the last few weeks the house still felt cosy thanks to Luke having lived there since she left; right up until his move to Vegas.  Missy still felt bad about that; he’d moved all the way to Vegas to be closer to her and then in no time at all she had announced that she was going to London, leaving him there alone. It was only temporary, she would be back but that didn’t help the small feeling of guilt gnawing away at her.
 
To make it even worse she was still unsure of what exactly she hoped to accomplish on this visit home; she just knew there was something here; something she had to do to lay old ghosts to rest and begin to heal the wounds of the past. Maybe she just needed the time away from everything and everyone to try and figure out what was going on in the jumble that was her mind.
 
Closing the front door behind her, she made her way towards her comfortable sofa but stopped in her tracks when a loud knock came to the door, startling her so much that she jumped slightly."Who the hell?"Nobody knew she was here so it must be an unsolicited caller; some door to door salesman or charity collector, taking their chances that somebody was at home.
 
As she pulled open the front door, ready to give the usual ‘I’m not interested’ speech, her startled response from moments before was replaced with pure shock at the familiar face on the doorstep. It was a face she hadn’t seen since before she’d left London and the sudden appearance now had knocked her for six."What...why….what are you doing here? How did you even know I’d be here?"
 
“Come on now Missy, you know I have my ways."He’d expected her to be shocked but he hadn’t expected just how much seeing her would affect him."Are you going to invite me in, or shall we just do this here, on the doorstep… let the neighbours get some new gossip material."
 
Silently she stepped aside to allow him to step inside; still reeling from his unannounced appearance her pulse quickened slightly as he accidentally pressed against her on his way past. This man; her ex, Scar, or Andrew as he was actually christened, was the first person she’d ever loved; Amanda the second. The two unbeknownst to each other where in an exclusive club of just the two members, the only people Missy had ever really been in love with."Make yourself at home…."The sarcasm dripped from Missy’s words as Andrew had already done just that; making himself comfortable on the couch Missy had been intending to lounge on.
 
His nonchalant shrug infuriated her and she had the sudden urge to rush over and punch him until she ran out of all of the anger built up inside. Instead she simply closed the front door and took a seat in the small, single, armchair across from him. If looks could kill he probably would have been on life support as Missy stared daggers at him, awaiting some kind of explanation as to what he was doing there.
 
He'd missed that look, he really had. He'd lost track over the years of how many times she'd looked at him that way; the look that said she wanted to claw his eyes out and probably would if he didn't start talking soon. The smirk was uncontrollable for him as he pulled a bottle of whiskey out from the inside of his black leather jacket and held it up in her eye line; almost like an olive branch."Glasses?"
 
“No…first you can tell me what you’re doing here, Andrew."If he was just here to twist the knife that her sister had placed there a few weeks before, she wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible and send him on his way."I’m sure it’s not just to get drunk and reminisce about old times."
 
“Well actually, that’s exactly what it was…."One look across at Missy’s face told him that she wasn’t in a joking mood at the moment and as much as seeing her wound tighter than a coiled spring amused him, he thought it would be easier; and safer to put her out of her misery."OK, seriously, I came to set the record straight about Cassie."
 
Hearing him call her sister by the familiar pet name felt like hot pokers had been rammed into her gut."What about her? I think she said everything she had to the last time I saw her… or are you here to try and collect the ‘congratulations’ I wouldn’t give her, because you should know that –"
 
“– Oh for fuck’s sake Paige, shut up and let me speak, will you? Just once?"[/b]He waited a beat to see if his words had struck home and the small nod from her accompanied with the look of complete shock told him that they had."Cassie isn’t pregnant; she only said that to get to you; to hurt you. Obviously I didn’t know until after she’d got back and by that time it was too late. I tried to get in touch with you but that oaf Luke wouldn’t let me speak to you. What the fuck is he doing back on the scene anyway?"
 
Without a word Missy stood up from her seat and walked into the kitchen, returning moments later with two glasses."Okay, I think it’s time for that drink now, while you fill me in on exactly what the hell my sister thinks she was playing at."
 
The idea had come to her about a quarter of the way through their second bottle. The amount of alcohol she’d already consumed was to blame for the crazy idea; a way to not only get revenge on her sister for the awful things she’d done - including tell her she was pregnant when she wasn’t and also a way to release Amanda since pushing her away hadn’t worked.
 
The moment the monumentally stupid idea had crossed her mind she immediately put it into action; pouring Andrew triple measures to every single of her own. Before long she’d had the desired effect and he’d passed out drunk on the couch; maybe she should have thought of the logistics beforehand but it was too late for that by then. With great difficulty she’d pulled him up the stairs to her bedroom; relieved to find the bed already made. She had to make it believable for her plan to work; she had to make Andrew, her sister, Amanda and everyone else for that matter believe that they had slept together. 
 
What the hell was she thinking? Even through her drunken stupor part of her was screaming to stop being so ridiculous; leave Andrew there to sleep it off in the bed and go back down to the couch and forget the whole stupid charade, but she was too far gone to think straight.
 
Following another difficult struggle; who knew it would be so hard to strip a man over a foot taller and more than double her weight, while he was passed out drunk, to his underwear? Who even thought things like that anyway? The situation would probably have looked hilarious to an outsider observer; a comedy scene to rival the three stooges or the Carry On films in absurdity - but she continued on her merry way until she finally got him under the duvet. 
 
With a final push of energy she climbed beneath the duvet next to Andrew; pulling the straps of her top down her arms so only her bare neck and shoulders showed above the duvet and using her mobile snapped a picture of her beside him. To anyone who wasn’t in the room and hadn’t witnessed the pantomime that had just taken place that picture showed exactly what she intended it to. 
 
Without looking back she sent the picture to her sister’s number with the simple message ‘Payback’s a bitch, sis.’
 
Confessions
11th October 2016
Maine, USA

 
The flight to Maine was a relatively short one compared to the one she had taken to London the week before. Still, seven hours was long enough to leave her feeling the claustrophobia of cabin fever; being stuck in one place when she was feeling the way she was, was not the best idea. She hadn’t given it much thought though before booking herself on the first available flight. It had taken her a matter of minutes to phone the airline and pay an extortionate amount to force her way onto the flight, following Amanda’s tweet requesting to speak to her face to face.
 
Her original plan was crumbling; the whole reason she had set off on this course of action was to free Amanda from her feelings but it hadn’t quite gone to plan. Amanda still loved her and although the thought brought a small flutter to her stomach, it wasn’t part of the plan. Telling her that she’d cheated was supposed to make Amanda hate her. Now combined with the fact she’d spilled her guts to Mel who was struggling under the burden of the ‘secret’ she knew she had no other choice than to come clean.
 
Missy had called Amanda the second she’d cleared customs to let her know she’d arrived and to arrange a meeting place; she had considered going to Amanda’s parent’s house but she wasn’t quite that suicidal. So instead they'd agreed on a small coffee shop, which was Missy's current location.
 
As she sat at the table for two in the window, waiting for Amanda to arrive, she silently wished that she'd make it before the steaming cup of coffee she'd ordered for her went cold. Her thoughts drifted away as she stared out of the window at her white, rental car; a million possible words racing through her mind but none seeming an appropriate way to greet the woman she loved. She was so engrossed in her search for the perfect words to say, she didn’t even see Amanda walk in and approach the table.
 
Standing dressed in tight blue jeans and a black hoodie looking at Missy was Amanda. Her long brown hair flowed down her back despite the navy and red Atlanta Braves baseball cap she wore on her head. A smile came across her face as she slid into the chair across from Missy. Her stomach was in knots as she locked eyes with the woman who meant the world to her. Less than a week ago she would have sworn she saw the last of her when she boarded her flight to London. Millions of thoughts raced her mind, wondering who would speak first and what the outcome would become.
 
She grabbed at the small stirrer inside the cup of coffee and played with it, spinning it slowly inside the dark nectar, her eyes suddenly avoiding Missy’s. All of a sudden she couldn’t even stomach looking at her. Each time she tried to look at her anger filled her body making things more and more difficult on the two. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe she wasn’t ready after all. Maybe it would have been best if she had just stayed in London.
 
“This was a mistake Missy I’m sorry. I can’t sit here and talk to you or be civil. All I can think about is how angry I am with you and how much I hate what you’ve done. I’ve done nothing but cry my eyes out since I found out what you did. You proved just how much I meant to you last week when you called me just to tell me you cheated slept with your ex. Not only that but then wouldn’t even talk to me about it. No I’m sorry, just hey I fucked my ex while in London take care. Well fuck you Missy."Tears filled her eyes once more. The anger inside her was boiling over and it was taking everything she had to not climb over the table and slap the woman she loved. And yet, she would be just as likely to hug her as she would to slap her.
 
She couldn’t help but sigh as she looked across at Amanda; this was going to be harder than she thought. She hadn’t even considered how hard it would be for Amanda to do this face to face, her need to see her overriding everything."I know now that it was stupid for me to do that but I need to try and explain why I did. I’ve gone about this all the wrong way but believe me, I only ever did any of this to protect you. It may not seem like it but I do care about you.”
 
“Protect me? You slept with your ex to protect me? Oh well that makes everything so much better. Thank you Missy. Thank you for protecting me from whatever shit you’re scared of. Why don’t you be honest with yourself and me just this once. What we had was too real for you and you couldn’t handle it. So what did you do? You threw it in the garbage! You were a fucking coward!"She wiped a stray tear from her eyes, the anger keeping her from completely losing it."If that’s how you show love then I’d hate to see how you treat someone you hate."She grabbed her cup of coffee and slowly stood up."I won’t keep you though. I’m sure you’d much rather be in London anyways.”
 
She winced at the hate filled words from Amanda, even though she knew she deserved them and this was ultimately what she had wanted the venom in them was making her feel physically sick."I didn’t…. Nothing happened Amanda. I didn’t sleep with my ex, I haven’t slept with anybody. I only said that because I thought it was the only thing that could get you to hate me enough to leave me. That was the protection part. I know that I should have talked to you instead but in my own screwed up way this has all been done to spare you."What the hell had she been thinking? How could telling her that she’d cheated especially when she hadn’t, ever be the right decision to make."I am in a really fucked up place right now, as this last week shows and I didn’t… I don’t want to drag you down with me. I know I’ve told you some of my past but…. You don’t know what I’m truly capable of, I’m poison and I don’t want that for you.”
 
“Are you shitting me right now? I’ve been beating myself up all week wondering what I did wrong to push you over the limit. Wondering what I should have done differently or what I could do to make it right. You don’t think I’ve got my own dark past that I deal with on a daily basis? I know you think I’m this bright light in an otherwise dark world but I’m tainted just like you. I’ve done things I’m not proud of but this, this is low."She knew she should be relieved but yet part of her was still too angry to just let it go. This wasn’t a Disney movie and she wasn’t a queen so there was no letting it go, at least not right now."You think you’re poison and you want to protect me? Protect me from what Missy? You hurting me? Well let me just say you failed miserably. Might I suggest you find another job outside of protection because you suck!”
 
“I know… actually I don’t know. I have absolutely no idea what I was thinking. This is what I’m like, this is who I am. I fuck things up. I hurt people whether I want to or not."The idea that she actually thought this would be a good idea to save Amanda was laughable now."I’m in a downward spiral and I don’t want to drag you down with me. As much as you say you can handle it, even if that’s true, the thought of it tears me up inside and as demonstrated doesn’t exactly lead to clear thinking on part. I really can’t blame you for hating me, it’s nothing less than I deserve but I needed you to know the reasons, even if they do ‘suck’.”
 
“Well I guess you’re getting your wish. Two things I know are true Missy. One is I know I can’t trust you to be honest with me and two I know I can’t be with someone who doesn’t believe in me. Take care of yourself Missy."The anger had left her and the tears finally began to fill her eyes. This was killing her on the inside, she wanted to wrap her arms around her and tell her it was okay but she couldn’t. Missy wanted to be alone so she was getting what she wanted.
 
She’d managed to get what she’d originally set out for but it was tearing her apart. She wanted to just wrap her arms around Amanda and wipe away her tears; tell her that it had all been a bad dream and they were still happy and together, curled up on their king-size bed in Vegas, but it was too late for that now. Missy had made her bed and right or wrong she had to lay in it."I...I never haven’t believed in you. This isn’t about you, you’re fucking perfect. This is all on me, I know I’m fucked up, I know I’ve hurt you and I know I’ve lost probably the best thing that’s ever happened to me but I have to live with that now. I never stopped caring, just please know that.”
 
She couldn’t stop crying no matter how she tried. Missy had damaged her and perhaps it was best that she saw just how damaged she had become. She had never loved anyone as much as she loved Missy and this was the end result. She was getting paid back for all the wrongs she committed in spades."I….I’ve got to go Missy. I can’t do this anymore. Just know you’ve broken my heart in ways I didn’t know were even possible. Goodbye."She placed the coffee cup back on the table and walked off. She couldn’t even look back as her makeup had caused streaks to appear on her face.
 
Watching Amanda walk away from her was the hardest thing she’d ever had to do. She wanted to run after her,scream at her to stop but she couldn’t. Until she fixed herself she couldn’t risk putting Amanda through it. She’d already hurt her too much to even think about doing that. Tears threatened to fall but Missy fought them back, she didn’t deserve to cry after what she’d done; didn’t deserve that release. Instead she clenched her fist, digging her long nails into the sensitive skin of her palm, hoping the pain would somehow mask the tearing feeling in her chest of her heart being ripped out.
 
Lifebelt
12th October 2016
Unknown Location

 
She had no idea what she had expected to happen when she saw Amanda; she knew it was going to be bad but still, somehow, the hurt and anger in Amanda had shocked Missy to the core. Every bad thought and feeling she’d been barely containing for the last few months finally bubbled to the surface and exploded all at once.
 
She had no idea where she was right now. Everything since Amanda had left the coffee shop was a blur of gut wrenching nausea and whiskey fuelled tears. She’d lost count of how many she’d had to drink; she wasn’t sure it even mattered anymore - did anything matter? She couldn’t think of a single thing that at that moment mattered in the slightest.
 
Her usual focus was gone; anything and everything that could anchor her and make sense was a million miles away now - or at least that’s how it felt. Where had the car keys in her hand come from? How had she made it to the driver's door of the unfamiliar car? Her legs didn’t feel like her own; somehow disconnected from the rest of her body.
 
If she’d had any shred of sense about her she wouldn’t now be fumbling with the central locking of the car remote; trying to get into the car. Did she really think she was going to drive? Where would she even go? She had no home; no-one to turn to. The only thing that would be accomplished by her getting behind the wheel of that vehicle right then would be a very messy end; to the pain, the anguish - to Missy herself.
 
She looked at her suddenly empty hand stunned. It took her a few moments to register that the key fob was no longer there where it had been moments before. It wasn’t until the firm hand on her shoulder spun her around that she realised the keys had been snatched from her grasp.
 
“What in holy hell do you think you’re doing? Are you trying to kill yourself; someone else? You’re a mess."
 
The words were harsh but warranted, even if she couldn’t see it at that precise moment. Andrew stood with his hand firmly on her shoulder holding her in place. The look in eyes showing that he could quite easily of throttled her for her near fatal stupidity."I...I…"She couldn’t find any words. She had absolutely no idea what she was doing."I need help.”
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