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FFW Unstoppable 8 - July 29, 2017

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« on: July 31, 2017, 11:44:15 am »



Maggie: The following match is scheduled for one fall... And is a TEXAS DEATH MATCH! The rules are as follows. All pinfalls and submissions can be counted anywhere in the arena... After a pinfall or submission has been counted and the wrestler who scored the fall is back inside of the ring, the wrestler who has taken the fall will have ten seconds to return to the ring and stand. If they have not, the wrestler standing in the middle of the ring is declared the winner!

Mai: Ladies and gentlemen, joining me at this time for the incoming bloodbath and being nice enough to have brought popcorn since he knows both these wrestlers well... “The War Machine” Chris Strike!

Strike: This is very much like old times, Mai. Well, minus the whole your tongue being stuck down Lyn’s throat thing. But mostly like old times. Happy to be on hand to help call this one.

Multicoloured lights strobe the arena, and starting at the same time (but far from synchronised with them), the fractured beat and dissonant screeches of Michachu's "56565656" slink across the PA. The fans who recognise the tune from its use in other wrestling companies begin to cheer; everyone else joins in when a burst of white light flashes around the entranceway, and right in the middle of it, a brighter sparkle flares as the glitter-coated form of Laurel Anne Hardy takes a theatrical bow.

Maggie: Introducing first...

Laurel holds up one finger and disappears backstage for a second, then re-emerges with a pink sports bag over her shoulder, overflowing with weapons, each of them painted in psychedelic hues and decorated with trails of sequins! In her hands, meanwhile, she holds a similarly vibrant cake carrier. She leans into the nearest camera and winks before heading towards the ring. With her free hand she tags fans' outstretched palms along the way and gives out a few one-armed hugs.

Maggie: From Rhyl, Wales, weighing one hundred and forty-nine pounds... she is "Your Favourite Wrestler's Favourite Wrestler", LAUREL! ANNE!! HAAAARRRRDYYYYYY!!!

Once she reaches the ring Laurel sets her loads down then swings in under the ropes and jogs across to the opposite corner where she climbs up to the top and pulls some shapes. With camera light flaring all around her, she bows again, then moonsaults down to a standing position in the centre of the ring.

Strike: Laurel Anne Hardy is going to be an absolute treat for the FFW Faithful to watch. She’s zany, she’s quirky, she’s the actual, legitimate definition of an “unique” professional wrestler and all of that has made her one of the absolute best at her craft. But in the world of deathmatches that she profoundly loves, she might be meeting her biggest challenge yet...

Mai: You know there’s something to be wary about a woman who could best be described as ‘The Final Boss’... And I mean look at those legs.

The lights in the arena turn black and blue, the familiar colours of the Ultraviolence Champion, and before the music starts the crowd is heavy in their disapproval of the woman. A familiar beat comes over the system, clearly not the music Emma had been using before. Dry ice pours from the stage and begins to move down the ramp as the stage open up, where we then see a pole rise from the ground. Sure enough, the UV Champion has attached to said pole. First, she is spinning around the pole, holding with just her hands, angled out and shins and feet out behind her. Then, mid-spin, she flips herself backwards. One leg wraps itself around the metal, while the other reaches over her back towards her head. With one arm also supporting her against it, both hands grab the foot that’s at her head and causing her body to contort, placing herself in a pose that gains wolf whistles from the male crowd, and likely some of the women too. But while all this had been going on, the music stopped. A camera shows the Ultraviolence Championship on the floor beside the pole. It then cuts to the curtain, looking for Ryan, who doesn’t appear.

The arena comes to life as Christina Aguilera's “Dirrty” strikes up fully, at which point the Scottish wrestler dismounts the pole, landing in a perfect box split with her back to the crowd, and then pushes herself to her feet. Picking up her championship from the floor, Emma takes the strap in both hands and throws her hands in the air, causing a stream of pyro to go off around her. It’s as it clears we see the change in her gear. Absent are her usual MMA gloves, so her hands are bare. She is also wearing a leather jacket over her gear, and her usual shorts have been replaced with a very...very short skirt. Let’s just say we should be grateful she’s wearing underwear.

Maggie: On her way to the ring, from Glasgow, Scotland! She weighs in at one hundred and forty pounds, she is your FFW Ultraviolence Champion, please welcome “The Pretty Little Psycho” EMMA! MACNAMARA!

The Scot makes her way down the ramp after the announcement, slinging the belt over her shoulder. She sticks to the middle of ramp, avoiding people touching her as much as she can, but swats away a few hands that almost make it that far. Once at the bottom, the UV Champion turns to the barrier and looks to be trying to find someone. She finds them, and reaches over the barrier, to be handed a large bag, Looking in it, a grin crosses her face and she turns, throwing it into the ring. She then heads for the steps nearest the announce table. Placing one foot on the middle step, she makes eye contact with Mai at the desk and quite openly winks at her before heading the rest of the way up the steps. She walks to the middle of one side, and dips at the waist so that she can step through the ropes, and into the ring.

Once inside, she heads for her corner,where she sits the belt on the top buckle to remove her leather jacket, which gives way to a top that bares a lot of cleavage and a lot of stomach. Dropping the jacket to someone outside the ring, she then hops the middle turnbuckle and holds the belt aloft once more, to more jeers from the fans. Smirking, she jumps back down and hands the belt off to the referee, before leaning in her corner and awaiting whatever comes next.

Mai: Emma MacNamara is now the longest reigning Ultraviolence champion of all time. Look at the history of that belt Chris and you can’t tell me that’s impressive... Also hard to imaging who is actually going to remove it from... ...She winked at me. I love her.

Strike: OK but...are you sure that was aimed at you now? Either way, Emma MacNamara is dangerous in every sense of the word. Not to mention, Chaotic Temptation’s looming around tonight and Emma isn’t one above using numbers to get the results she want. This is a clash between the undisputed greatest Ultraviolence wrestler in FFW against arguably the greatest deathmatch wrestler in the world. ...Let’s watch some good old fashioned violence, shall we?

DING! DING! DING!

The match starts... Not exactly how you might expect it to. The two women stare at each other for a few moments as Emma drops that bag she carried with her down right in the center of the ring, though Laurel doesn’t bother looking at it or what might be inside. She instead throws her own sports bag over the ring ropes to her end.

They acknowledge the other’s existence standing, right in front of each other and then at the same time both of them slide out of the ring from opposite sides before flinging the apron covers over. They begin dragging out chairs, tables, a ladder, a tool box, ring tools, cables, nails, bags of god knows what. Laurel unzips her bag and drops out kenzans, lawn gnomes, firecrackers, a strange pink metal can that she heaves under the ring, possibly for later...

The camera begins to pan around the ring to see a few strange items, very large items that have been strewn around the ring and covered in tarps. Laurel seems to finally pick out a weapon she likes (though she seemingly slides something back in the ring that looks long and glittery... She hefts up a weed whacker of all things before giving it a swing. Emma picks out a good old fashioned pool stick.  

Mai: Emma left the bag she came to the ring with and instead of laying into each other they just... Went to go find weapons. Am I... Am I missing something or have they both just done so much of this that they already know how this goes?

Strike: I think the both of them understand that these weapons are going to get used sooner rather than later. Why not just try to dismantle one another right off the bat? In matches like this one, the quicker you can finish and the less blood you lose out of it, the better for your long-term health.

They return to each other, or rather are walking near to each other before Emma winds up and cracks Laurel across the jaw with the pool stick, but Laurel in response swings the weed whacker to the Pretty Little Psycho’s head and thumps her on the crown of it, before swinging it upward, Shaolin Masters style and using the heavier end to butt her in the mouth, sending a tooth flying. Emma doesn’t seem to care that she’s bleeding from the mouth and just lost one of her canines on the underside of her mouth. The Final Boss thrusts forward with the metal bar that attaches the gasoline powered piece to the actual weed whacker proper! Hardy smacks the metal proper against the Emma’s wooden stick and a particular crack is heard in the Stadium, as it seems Emma’s pool stick is giving way, before another thrust with the weed whacker’s metal bar breaks it in half in Emma’s fingers! Not to be outdone, MacNamara twirls the pool stick shards in her fingers, butts Hardy in the eye with the rubber end and then sharply smashes the other part against her nose, causing her to drop the weed whacker!

Strike: ...Laurel Anne Hardy, the FFW Faithful. FFW Faithful, Laurel Anne Hardy. She does this kind of shit just about every time weapons are involved...but even I never expected her to use a weed whacker like she’s a damn Shaolin monk!

Mai: You don’t see many people swinging around a weed whacker like a Shaolin Spade.

MacNamara grabs Laurel by the head and attempts to hit her with a bulldog into the barricade, but Laurel puts a leg up to stop before using her flexibility to grab the barricade with both hands and boot The Pretty Little Psycho in the back of her head with the heel of her boot, smacking her head against the barricade. She then wraps her arms around the Ultraviolence Champion’s neck with a full nelson before she steps forward with a split legged bulldog, smashing Emma’s mouth (and getting rid of that other pesky canine tooth on the underside of her row of teeth) against the barricade and putting her on her knees as The Final Boss completes her patented Dragon’s Breath. Laurel rolls away from Emma, only to kick up and grab her by the hair, but Emma drives a fist into her gut and then another, before she steps up, bloody mouth and all and headbutts Laurel under the jaw before smashing her face in the barricade. The two women go back and forth, beating each other’s head into the barricade before Emma gouges Laurel’s eyes to create space...

Emma reaches to a tarp and jerks it off to reveal a light tube log cabin that god knows how many production assistants put together carefully. It’s about the height of both women, as Emma grabs Laurel by the back of the neck and gets ready to fling her into it, but Laurel physically leapfrogs over Emma, to dodge that! The crowd thinks for a moment that Laurel just escaped danger here but the Ultraviolence champion dropkicks Laurel in the back and sends her smashing through the light tube log cabin. It’s a flicker of white powder and tubing as a few people in the crowd scream and the crowd breaks out...

Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

Mai: Bwahaha Emma just put an exclamation point with A LIGHT TUBE LOG CABIN ON... On... On... How? HOW THE FUCK!?

...Laurel emerges from the half-shattered light tube log cabin, bloodied on the arms and face, wiping herself off as she glances at the Ultraviolence champion who stared back at her, neither woman really seemingly shocked by the fact that Laurel pulled herself from the wreckage.

Strike: That woman gets up for nothing short of a four star match or above, Mai! SHE LIVES, DIES AND THEN LIVES AGAIN FOR THIS SHIT!!! AND EMMA KNOWS IT, TOO!

There isn’t a moment for either woman to take a breather here, as they begin to square off right again. The blood dripping off of them seeming not to bother either woman as Hardy checks MacNamara with stiff southpaw forearms, one after the next and Emma answers back stiff forearms of her own. The start with the back and forth before they hook an arm around the back of each other’s head and just start beating on each other’s head as they begin to walk around to where Laurel’s weapons had been found, Hardy ‘seemingly’ meeting her match on the strikes before she mule kicks Emma right into the abdomen and bends her over so she can check her in the head with a knee! The Pretty Little Psycho is left on all fours as Laurel steps around her and lifts MacNamara upward before hitting her with a deadlift german and ringing the back of her head with the back of the turnbuckle pole!

This slows down the Ultraviolence Champion as Laurel seems to remember there’s actually a match to win here. She drops down and lifts Emma like a sack of potatoes before sidewalk slamming her back into the pole and going for a pin!

OOONNNNNEEEEE!!

TTTTTWWWWWOOOOOOO!!

TTTTTTHHHHHHRRRREEEEEEEEE!!

She slides back into the ring and stands at her feet as the referee begins counting. Does she figure Emma’s probably going to get back up and into the ring? Yes. Will Emma come swinging her harder? Yes.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

MacNamara is up again!

FOUR!

Emma grabs her by the ankles and jerks her down before she slides into the ring! The count is off as the two women begin brawling BACK out of the ring where they were.

Strike: I’m pretty sure both of them are getting at least ONE black eye out of this exchange, my God!

Mai: Do the words ‘defensive measures’ mean ANYTHING to these women? Laurel with the first pin but fat lot of good it does!

The Five Star Match Machine leaps upward and headscissors the Ultraviolence champion, looking to hit her with a sudden takedown but Emma hooks her arms around Laurel’s legs and bends her knees to stop Laurel’s momentum. She denies it furiously and shakes her head angrily before Emma begins to lift her upward and swing her head first into the barricade, smacking her face against it. Emma huffs as Hardy’s legs loosen around her neck before lifting her up and flinging her over the barricade. MacNamara looks down and picks up a metal wrench, twirling it in her fingers before she waits for Laurel to pop her head up. On the first sign of motion Emma swings the wrench... And begins to writhe as Laurel deftly blocks the swing with a stun baton and then sends the juice UP Emma’s wrench and through her body! The Ultraviolence champion shakes and drops the wrench, dropping on her knees and hands as Laurel leaps back and executes a step off senton, landing on MacNamara’s head and sending her face first into a kenzan, or as can best be explained, a heavy lead plate with brass spikes jutting outward!

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Emma’s face is pockmarked with tiny wounds across her forehead as Laurel turns around and looks out to the crowd for a moment before looking to climb BACK into the ring.

Mai: ANUS HORRIBLIS! ...Emma’s down and Laurel is about to... Oh come on.

Strike: Laurel is getting back into the ring...but she isn’t the only one making it back to her feet!!!

Laurel doesn’t take more than two steps before The Ultraviolence champion is already standing up, wiping her own blood off her eyes and not really bothering with her face. The Final Boss glances back at the Pretty Little Psycho before Emma uses her own blood on her fingers to smear it in Hardy’s eyes, temporarily blinding her before she grabs that fallen stun baton and JAMS it in Laurel’s neck before turning it on and shocking Hardy! Laurel is woozy on her feet as MacNamara drops the stun baton for the wrench and hits her with a one-two combo, right across the temple and then the other before she finally goes down as Emma huffs, going to roll Laurel up... But instead pressing the stun baton against her throat for another few seconds, leaving a nasty burn mark before clocking her down in the head with the wrench and then pinning her!

OOONNNNNEEEEE!!

TTTTTWWWWWOOOOOOO!!

TTTTTTHHHHHHRRRREEEEEEEEE!!

Mai: Second pin of the night, now Emma is leaving Hardy laying and rolling in the ring but for how long!?

Strike: Not very long, I feel. That stun baton has been doing its fair share of damage but that’s the thing with Texas Deathmatches...sure, you might get pinned or submitted but having the ten count to answer to in order to continue means that you have got to thoroughly incapacitate your opponent to ensure victory. ...That’s not gonna be easy with these two.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

Laurel stands to her feet, but there’s... A thousand yard stare on the face of The Final Boss. The Pretty Little Psycho stares back at her from inside of the ring,

FOUR!

FIVE!

Laurel slides back in the ring and stands face to face with The Pretty Little Psycho as the two women, bloody as they already start hammering each other. Emma irish-whips Laurel but on the rebound MacNamara catches a Gáe Buide Spear from The Final Boss, sending her through the ropes on the other side of the ring. Emma is hugging her ribs before she rolls up and wipes the blood from her face again before Laurel steps forward and double foot stomps her on the back of the head! She reaches down and grips the back of MacNamara’s head, dragging her towards one of the tarped objects. She grabs a tarp and jerks it off to reveal...

...And to the gasps of a few members of the crowd...

A pyramid of glass. A wooden base with a bunch of glass panes leaned up against one another to look as though it were a great fixture.

CCRRRRRUUUUUUUNNNNNCCCCHHHHHHHHH!!

Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

...And there Emma goes through it. Laying in a pile of broken glass. Yet as Laurel drags her out of it, she doesn’t go for the pin. She doesn’t even give the fans a chance to be shocked. She just heads for that weed whacker.

Strike: EMMA JUST TOOK ALL OF THAT IMPACT AND OH MY GOD!!!

The Final Boss comes back as Emma seems to be moving about now, her back and the back of her legs bloodied on surface cuts thanks to the glass. Hardy puts a boot on the ankle of MacNamara to keep her from standing up before she revs the weed whacker. She revs it again... She revs it again! The weed whacker gets started and without missing a beat Laurel brings it down on Emma’s marked forehead! Then she brings it down on her throat... Then along the cuts of her arms and then her legs! Emma reaches up in agony, but her face is a mask of agony and equal parts fury yet Laurel continues to do it, finally pressing the weed whacker against her throat to repay Emma for the electrical burn marks she left Laurel with on her’s. A number of line bruises quickly appear on Emma’s throat... She begins to reach the weed whacker ot her eyes...

As Hardy all too quickly realizes what she’s doing and throws down the weed whacker, looking at her hands as though she’s realized what she was a second from doing.

...Which becomes her mistake as Emma CUNT PUNTS Hardy right between the legs so hard she drops on her knees as Emma sits up, The Pretty Little Psycho wide-eyed and panting.

Mai: Emma goes from one second of being blinded to CUNT PUNTING Hardy so hard I think she went cross-eyed.

Emma goes to pin Laurel... But not before unfurling a table and wearily unfolding it... While her back is turned, Laurel reaches under the ring weakly and grabs a pink metal can, tilting it and taking a mouthful of some liquid before The Ultraviolence champion drags her and forces her up before laying her over the unfolded table. Emma begins to climb to the top turnbuckle and turn her back to Laurel, just as Hardy weakly begins to rummage in her pocket for something... She holds a lighter in hand as she brings it up over her face... And flicks.

Emma executes her Reverse High Angle Senton Bomb, but halfway through she gets a face full of fireball on the way down and puts Laurel through the table, but with her shoulder, letting out a roar of agony with the way she landed.

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Mai: FALL FROM GRACE! BUT EMMA JUST GOT A FACE FULL OF FIRE FROM LAUREL AS SHE CAME DOWN! BOTH WOMEN ARE JUST... DOWN BUT... EMMA’S ON TOP!

Strike: THAT ONE IS A THREE COUNT BUT IS IT ENOUGH TO KEEP LAUREL DOWN FOR TEN SECONDS?!

OOONNNNNEEEEE!!

TTTTTWWWWWOOOOOOO!!

TTTTTTHHHHHHRRRREEEEEEEEE!!

The pin is counted but both women are still down... Laying there motionless, all the pain and agony seemingly finally catching up to them. Emma slowly begins to roll up with Laurel hugging her frame and trying to shake things off. The Ultraviolence champion blindly reaches for ring ropes and pulls herself up through the ring ropes into the ring. She has to shakily stand thanks to the ropes... Looking back to that bag she had brought to the ring at the beginning of the match and grabbing it.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

Hardy by now has sat up through the wreckage and begins to weakly pull herself to stand back on the apron...

FIVE!

SIX!

Hardy pulls herself onto the apron as Emma swings the bag from behind her back, a nasty crunch being heard from the bag as Laurel falls backward onto the ground.

SEVEN!

EIGHT!

NINE!

The Ultraviolence Champion looks down at Laurel on the ground, glazed eyes and being hit from whatever Emma had in the bag as MacNamara snorts.

TEN!

DING! DING! DING!

...Before Emma slumps forward against the ropes, dropping the bag as it spills its contents, letting herself drop now that the whole damn thing is done. Medics already begin pouring out through the entrance ramp to check on both women.

Maggie: The winner of the TEXAS DEATH MATCH... “THE PRETTY LITTLE PSYCHO” EMMA MACNAMARA!

Mai: Emma walks out of here tonight with a victory over Your Favourite Wrestler’s Favourite Wrestler! ...What the hell was in that bag. Can we get a close-up?

The camera zooms in to check the inside of the bag... It’s a mess of wood and glass but one can barely make out... ‘It reads ‘Hall of Fa’ ‘me’ and looks to be a broken wooden plaque. It’s hard to tell just who’s plaque Emma might have found and decided to use.

Strike: ...Someway...somehow...Emma pulls this one off. It doesn’t matter whose plaque for her that might have been, so long as it got her what she came here for...what a match, Mai.

We end on both women being checked on and helped to the back.




Hostess with the Mostess

Yet again, we return to the backstage area, and find Cody Kincaid standing alongside Emi Yamamoto with something in a silk bag over his shoulder. Emi, seemingly exhausted from a whole night of activity, has her heels in her hands as Cody gives her a side hug before beginning to speak.

Cody: Emi, you have been doing a fantastic job all night. And I’m very thrilled to have you hosting. For your first hosting job, you’re doing great!

Emi takes a deep breath as she puts her heels back on the floor.

Emi: Thankies...phew...I didn't think it would be so hard though. I think it's this dress...it's so hot in here…

Cody: Well you've made it look easy tonight. But now, if you recall, the last time we spoke, I promised you a big surprise. And after doing such a great job tonight so far, I think it’s time to give it to you.

This perks her up by a great deal.

Emi: Oh?

Cody pulls the silk bag off his shoulder, and removes a gold championship belt with a black strap. Among the markings, it reads “Unstoppable 8 Hostess Champion” and has her name written on the nameplate. He offers it to her with a smile, but she just stands there frozen in shock.

Cody: What do you think? I know how much you always wanted a "shiny", so here's one you can keep forever.

Her gasp hasn't stopped as she takes the title belt from Cody's hands. She holds it closely to her chest like a newborn baby as she can no longer contain her excitement. She begins hopping up and down embracing her present.

Emi: This...is for me? OH THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOOOOOOOOUUUUU!!!!!

Cody: You deserve it. Like I said, you did a fantastic job tonight. I’m very happy with how great you did, and you’re welcome back to any show anytime you want.

Emi: Thankies Cody. I mean...I don't know...

Emi begins tearing up, but she tries to hide it as she takes a good look at her new title.

Emi: ...just thankies.

The camera zooms into Emi’s new title before we cut elsewhere.


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