FFW Future Shock - Episode 64 (Pool Party)

[Adam Grant]

Recorded at the Schlitterbahn Waterpark in South Padre Island, Texas
August 13, 2019

A FFW logo is shown stuck on a travel bag as it’s being pulled through the airport. “Leave It All Behind” by Sleeping with Sirens can be heard playing over it. The bag belongs to Arabella Townshend as she heads towards her gate before she gets stopped by a mother and her daughter for an autograph. As she leans down to take a selfie with the little girl, one of the monitors hanging is showing clips from Future Shock. 

When you look at my life, tell me what do you see?
I’m only human, so don’t expect too much from me.
I lost my faith, what have I become?
I don't think I can be safe from what I'm running for

The clips feature: Mara Werth getting to her feet and having her hand raised after a match, Nora Harris coming off the top of a cage with an elbow drop, Anna and Luna Cortez bumping fists and heading towards the ring, Su Wakuda reaching for a tag from Jennifer Song, and Gemma Pierce looking at her reflection as it changes from red hair to black, and Andi Takata nailing her rolling cutter!. 

Will you remember me
If I were to fall into the sky?
And what will they think of me
If I leave it all behind?
When I leave it all behind?

Arabella continues through the airport, and takes a seat in her terminal. She checks her cell phone to see her itinerary, and gets tapped on the shoulder by another fan who wants a hug. This puts a grin on her face as she returns it, and they show her videos on their phone of her and several of the Prospects. 

Would you be so surprised if I gave up tonight?
I'm barely breathing, I wanna kill the pain I feel inside
But I won't quit for the people I love
So I'll say I'm fine until the day I fucking see the light

The clips show: Cait Flanagan coming to the ring and throwing money over her shoulder, Alessandra and Nadia sitting on adjacent turnbuckles and flashing a smile to one another, Sydney Christensen delivering a tombstone piledriver, the Stone Sisters greeting the ringside fans as they head towards the ring, and Laurie ignoring Jane as she speaks with Sara backstage.

If you feel like you are nothing
If you feel like letting go
I'll be your hope when you are hopeless
Together, we are not alone
You're not alone

The doors open as Arabella heads through the gate to board her flight. And as the door with the Future Shock lightning logo seals shut behind her, we go live on aerial shot of a huge waterpark. Several different sized pools dot the park with a few modifications on some before the show cuts down to Zack and Steph. Zack has a Hawaiian shirt and shorts on, and Steph is sporting a bikini top and matching beach sarong.

Zack: Hello, everyone! And welcome to the second annual Future Shock pool party! We want to thank Schlitterbahn Waterpark for letting us take over today for what should be a lot of fun, not just for the viewers but for some of the hardest working women in the business, Steph.

Steph: And for us! I took the liberty of ordering us a couple drinks and unlike the wrestler whose name they have in common, I won’t be drinking them both!

Zack: If you like special guests, we got loads of them today here to soak up the sun with us.. You’ll be seeing them throughout the show as we have a whole host of games and challenges for the Prospects and some special guests too. 

The pair are served with a couple mai tais, which Zack takes a sip of his as he listens to what Steph has to say. 

Steph: Abigail Lindsay, Katya, Salem, Melody to name just a few!

Zack: We got it all today, fans. In what will be our… main event you could say, Andi Takata and “Sensational” Stacey Sky of the Gold Standard will meet in a water joust. You’re gonna see two versus two volleyball as Cait Flanagan and Luna Cortez join forces against Nora Harris and Katie Hanley. A tug of war will go down between Target Acquired and the Laurie Jane Experience before they meet in Sydney in 2 weeks. 

Steph: If you think nothing unpleasant can happen in any of these little matchups.. Well you haven’t been watching long enough.

Zack: How do you like a little log rolling? Well it’s back again this year as four women look to test their balance. I’m talking about Jennifer Song of the Raging Dragons, Anna Cortez, the newly signed to FFW star Luci, and Arabella Townshend. 

As Zack is talking, one of the special guests walks behind them. Salem, in a black bikini, passes and suddenly Steph’s mai tai somehow flips over and pours out on her chest. She looks behind her as Salem enjoys her drink, and keeps walking.

Steph: ...Frigging... C-C-cold blooded. Bitch.

Zack: But there’s one challenge that’s gonna last the whole show. Steph, we got a pizza eating contest between the ring announcers for Future Shock and FFW. Kat Grayson is here with Gaby, and we’ll see how much they can hold before it’s over tonight.

Steph: ...Right, but first I’m going to get changed because... That just happened.

Zack: As a matter of fact, let’s go check in on that as the contest is about ready to begin in a matter of moments. 


 

The show cuts over to a couple tables as we see several large pizza boxes stacked up on each. Kat and Gaby are sat at them behind a row of bottled waters. The pair glance at each other, both in bikinis as Sara tells them the rules. 

Sara: Alright, ladies. The rules are simple. Whoever can eat the most pizzas by the end of the show wins. All you can drink is water, and no additives either. I hope you’re hungry! Are you both ready? 

Both women give a nod, and one last glance at each other before the buzzer sounds. They pull down the first pizza box, and flip it open and start working on their first slice of pizza. 

Zack: You tell me, Steph. Which one do you think can put away the most Chicago deep dish pizzas there? 

Steph: I’m not sure but I’m glad it’s Chicago deep dish. More filling.

Both of them finish off the first slice without too much trouble, and already begin working on the second as Kat starts unscrewing her first bottle of water. Gaby picks up the pace, and starts shoving the slice in bigger bites as Kat gets back to it herself. 

Zack: We’ll be checking in on them throughout the show. I’m not sure where they are gonna find room for all of it, Steph. I mean we’re talking about two very fit girls having the biggest cheat day you can imagine. 

Steph: Pfft, you’ve never seen the annual locker room Christmas party. If you wanna talk cheat days...

The eating continues as they eye each other one more time, while the camera spots Abigail Lindsay watching as well. She seems to be cheering on Kat though, which the Australian wasn’t expecting. From there, we head elsewhere. 


Three Times As Good

Seated under an umbrella at a table with four drinks between them are Christian Kincaid and the Cortez triplets. He’s in a pair of trunks and sunglasses as he sits between two on one side and one on the other. The one to his left has the Future Shock Championship, so it’s fair to assume who THAT is.

Christian: Man, I wouldn’t mind if we had a lot more of these. It’s good getting out of arenas for a while, and out here poolside? I can get used to this entirely. And I’m here with three of my favorite people in the world, including your Future Shock Champion. Girls, welcome to the second annual Future Shock pool party!

Tara: Feels like being poolside lumps is a good form for us, huh? Wipeout, now this! I could get used to it.

The Future Shock Champion stretches as she smirks.

Tara: Future Shock has been my playground for two whole years, and it will continue to be so for the foreseeable future. I’m looking forward to extending my undefeated streak beyond the 2-year mark after the Sydney Supershow when I get to defend this championship against Cassandra Steen and the woman who’s choked more against me than all her toddler years combined, Vivi Robichaud. Now, they say there’s a certain pressure to be felt when you walk into a title defense sustaining such a powerful streak, and to that I say… Naaaaah.

The champion waves it off.

Tara: I’m happy as a clam and as ready as I can be for this. Nobody’s been able to stop me so far, so why would it be different?

Christian: It’s hard to argue with success. Throw all the stones you want, but there’s no one th history of this brand who has done what Tara has done. And I doubt it’ll ever get replicated or improved upon going forward. But today is not about that, today is about having a little fun. A little R&R before the girls head down under to Sydney. For example, look at Anna here.

He reaches across and takes the hand of one of the girls, presumably Anna.

Christian: She’s in a log rolling contest. Now I’ll be the first to tell you...maybe the second...that it isn’t something she’s used to doing. But that said, she does play and enjoy a lot of video games where things like that are necessary at times. So now she just gets to put into practice what she’s done in those games, and scoot across that spinning log the fastest.

Anna gives CK a (rare) smirk.

Anna: I’m aware videogames are nothing like real life, unlike some politicians would want one to think. But I have practiced plenty, and I am ready for this.

… awkward silence.

Luna: Is that ALL you have to say?! C’mon, Anna, we have to work on that oratory of yours! Liven up a little, lest you want people to think you’re shaking in your bikini!

Anna takes a good look at herself. She, unlike Luna and Tara, is wearing a form fitting black swimsuit. Although it doesn’t leave much to the imagination, she has covered herself a lot more than her sisters.

Anna: … this is not a bikini.

Luna: Technicalities! Want us to do it for you?

Anna: Not necessary.

Anna scoffs and carries on.

Anna: Part of the advantage of being a prodigy is, you get to learn things really fast. I am ready to show my opponents for today’s challenge that for people like us… Perfection is but another step of the way.

Christian: And then we got Luna here. She’s been getting ready for some volleyball in a little while. She’s never worked together with Cait Flanagan, but that’s alright. Katie and Nora haven’t worked together either. The only thing that MIGHT be an issue is the referee is a very vocal critic of the girls here. I’m referring to Rose Gardner.

Tara and Luna groan loudly. Anna, oddly enough, has no reaction to the mention of the Fast Track Champion.

Luna: This little ankle biter thinks she’s so smart calling us names and stuff. Wonder how that went with Valerie McKinley. Regardless, if she wants to be the star of the show, she should step aside and let the grown-ups do the job of wowing the audience! Like, remember the last volleyball challenge they had here, when Bianca Salvador and Sunny Kyoun, two women who had never met before, aced the whole thing? Why shouldn’t people expect the absolute same from myself and Cait Flanagan? As a matter of fact, even if Caity chooses to let me do the entire job for her, we’ll still look like a bajillion bucks, because a Cortez is twice as good as your average volleyball player!

Christian: And then, Luna gets back into the ring in Sydney for the first time! And what’s she gonna do? Become the first challenger for the Nova Championship when she runs over Sydney Christensen and Carys McFarlane in a triple threat. Whoever wins the title might want to take a lot of selfies with it after the match is over. 

Luna growls.

Luna: The fact I’m not in that title match three-way is a mistake. Arabella, a rookie fresh off her diapers, wins two matches and now it’s the “Age of Arabella”? Bullshit! Try saying that when you’ve a 24-month undefeated streak-- ooooh, right, only Tara Cortez can say that! So here’s what we’re going to do: you three can trade slaps over who gets to warm that belt for me, and when I’m done with the Living Pinball and Canada’s dumbest export, I’m coming for what’s mine. I AM your future Nova Champion… It’s just a matter of time.

Christian: It practically has her name on it already. But that’s all coming up in Sydney. Bring a lot of entertainment for the flight, girls. You’re gonna be on a plane for over a day to get there. But at least it’ll be first class. 

Luna: Guess it’s to be expected when you’re going to the other side of the world. But Anna has her games, Tara has her books, and I…

… awkward silence.

Luna: … oh god, what am I taking for the trip?!

Tara: Maybe you should educate yourself and read more books.

Anna: Or open your mind and enjoy some games.

Luna: I don’t have time for your… nerdy stuff! I’m a diva, and divas don’t wait!

Anna: Unless you’d like to try and master teleporting between right now and the day of the show, I would advise you reconsider that statement.

Luna facepalms.

Luna: Anna… Just… Shut up, please.

Christian pat sher hand with a smile.

Christian: Don’t worry. You can catch up on some sleep and look over the new Luna Cortez merchandise I’ve had drawn up, and decide what you like and don’t. How’s that? 

Luna’s eyes light up at the mention of “new merchandise.”

Luna: New merch! With my name on it! Yesssss!!! I cannot wait to see it! When is it gonna hit the shelves?! When can I expect to see everybody and their puppies using all of it?!

Christian: We’ll save it for the flight. It’ll give you something to look forward to, especially the cell phone cases with you on the back of them. Everytime they take a picture, someone will be looking at you.

Luna: YES! I can’t wait! This trip to Sydney comes in the best time POSSIBLE!

Tara: Says the woman who was panicking because she didn’t have anything to do for a full 24 hours of flight…

Tara and Anna share a laugh (though Anna is more like… just chuckling) as Luna casts her champion sister a dirty look.

Luna: You shut up too.

Christian: We can pick this up later. Anna, I believe they are about to start the log rolling contest over there. C’mon, we gotta Mario it up. 

Anna: I’m ready.

The most somber of the sisters nods and smirks, walking out of the frame.

Anna: Try not to bounce off the walls TOO hard before your volleyball contest, Luna.

Luna: Didn’t I tell you to SHUT UP?!

And it’s on Tara’s laughter and Luna’s groan that we go somewhere else.



 

The next shot takes us to one of the pools in the waterpark, but this one has a log from one side to the other. It’s rotating in different sections in opposite directions, and we see 4 women watching it as they prepare for the challenge. Also looking is the new Aspire Champion Gemma Pierce by herself, and the newest Prospect Cassandra Mason a few feet away.

Zack: Well this one is pretty simple, folks. Each of these four women will have to walk across that 10 foot spinning log. Whoever does it fastest without falling in wins. But if you fall, you’re eliminated. We’ve got Jennifer Song of the Raging Dragons, Luci who just recently returned to FFW, Arabella Townshend and Anna Cortez. Who do you like here, Steph? 

Steph: Well I like everyone here for different reasons, Zack. Oh you mean who I have winning! Uh eenie-meenie-miney-moe, catch a tiger by the toe...mumblemumble eenie-meenie-miney-moe... Right. Going with Miss Song here.

FFW referee Kevin Fisk is on hand in a pair of shorts as he holds a stopwatch. He points towards Luci, and tells her she goes first. The Aussie blonde lines up with the log dressed in a red two piece , and immediately starts walking across. The different rotations throw her off, and she nearly falls into the water more than once, but makes a leap as she gets close to the other side and lands on her feet. Her husband, Vincent, congratulates her as Kevin calls out her time. 

Kevin: 20.3 seconds for Luci!

Zack: Luci has some excellent balance, and sets the bar for the other four, Steph. Women tend to have a lower center of gravity than men due to their height, think that plays a difference? 

Steph: Well it certainly helps, judging by Luci’s time. I don’t figure any guys might get that same length of time.

Jennifer Song lines up next when the referee tells her to come forward. With Su watching on not far away and giving her some support, Jenny starts hot-footing it across the spinning log. She looks as though she’s trying to almost skip across, and makes it to the other side as well. Su gives her some more cheers as they both look back to the timekeeper slash referee. 

Kevin: 19.6 seconds for Jennifer Song!

Zack: Jenny’s pretty light on her feet, isn’t she? She’s already in the lead, and then there were two left to go. 

Steph: I wonder if having your own cheering section also helps. So far Jenny’s had Su, Luci had Vincent...

Anna steps up next, and looks more than a little nervous about all of it. The referee gives her the nod, and off she goes. She barely makes it more than about three feet before she starts losing her balance. But she regains it quickly, and continues to hop across to the other side of the pool. Christian congratulates her, which makes her smile slightly.

Kevin: 18.8 seconds for Anna Cortez!

Zack: I guess Anna was more ready than I thought she’d be. That wasn’t a bad time, and she’s got the lead right now.

Steph: ...And we’re SURE that was Anna, right?

Finally, Arabella came forward. She had a big smile on her face as she waited for the referee to give her the nod. When he did, she started moving quickly. She sped up on the slow turning parts, and slowed down as it got faster in other sections. She made it across pretty quickly, and hopped onto the ground. Luci gave the black bikini-clad Prospect a high five as they all looked back to the referee.

Kevin: 17.4 seconds for the winner...ARABELLA TOWNSHEND!!

Steph: Well, never mind what I said about needing a cheering section.

Zack: I guess the “Age of Arabella” extends past the wrestling ring too, doesn’t it?

Arabella did a couple poses, grinning ear to ear as the referee went around to raise her hand. She headed towards the table where the pizzas were to celebrate. And the show cut elsewhere in the water park after that.

[Adam Grant]

 

When the show cuts back to the pizza eating contest, it looks like Kat and Gaby have drawn a crowd. Both of them have finished an entire large pizza on their own, and more than one empty water bottle is seen sitting up on the table. 

Zack: Looks like they both decided to skip breakfast. I’m impressed they already put a large away that fast. They must have been hungry. 

Steph: Where there’s a will, there’s a way I guess. 

Abigail is still watching, but she’s joined by Katya and Salem. Kat and Gaby continue shoving it in, checking to see how the other is doing. 

Steph: They’re really pulling in a small crowd here, Zack.

Zack: Well it’s not that often you get to see two extremely fit women devouring pizza like this, much less do it on a wrestling show.

The camera pans to the left, finding Jake in a pair of board shorts with Melody Lennox. The tiny blonde looks a little nervous as she keeps checking around, as if expecting someone. When she hears a loud noise (a splash), she pulls Jake in front of her. He looks down to her and points to where it came from. The tiny blonde in a black bikini flashes a smile as she sees it.

Steph: I see Melody is making use of Jake as a human meatshield. You hate to see it.

The eating contest continues now as the show cuts elsewhere in the waterpark.






 

The next location is a stretch of beach near the waterpark, where a volleyball net had been set up. Katie Hanley was discussing some strategy with her partner for the game, Nora Harris. Li’l Pixie Pump was getting cheers from her fiance, Quinn, who was standing a few feet away. Neither of the girls had a friendly smile as Cait and Luna approached. The two gave each other a wary look as the guest official for the match, “Poison” Rose Gardner, arrived in a zebra print bikini.

Zack: Time for a little volleyball now. First one to score three points wins the game, and Rose there will be our guest official for the match. Look at that, she found zebra bikini just to make it that much more official. 

Steph: I hope she got a deal on that. Maybe one of those online promo codes.

Rose signals the game to begin, and Katie and Nora get the ball first. Nora serves it up, and sends it flying towards the net until Luna smacks it back across. Katie darts to fire it back, only to get served by Luna a second time. Nora darts forward with a smack that sends it across again, and Cait hits a hard shot, seemingly aimed at Nora’s head until she barely dodges it to strike it across again. But Luna is ready and waiting, and hammers the ball straight down just out of Katie’s reach to score the first point. 

Zack: You think there’s any resentment left over for Cait at all? That didn’t look as much like she was trying to win as it was tattooing Nora’s face. 

Steph: Zack have... Have you met Cait?

This time, Luna got the ball and served it up with Cait giving it a little extra power to send it whizzing past Nora. Katie returned it with an underhand shot that almost sent it to the net, but Nora sent it across with another hit. Luna lunged forward, and sent it back with a double underhands hot. But Nora was right there waiting for it, and sent it just over the net. It didn’t get too far though before Cait left her feet with a clubbing blow that struck the ball off the top of Nora’s head and then into the sand to give them a second point. Rose wasn’t looking too happy with this though.

Zack: Well that one was personal right there. I didn’t think we’d have a volleyball game turn into a bloodsport, but it looks like that’s where we are heading, at least for Cait. They are up 2-0 now.

Steph: What’dya mean you didn’t think it would turn into a bloodsport!? We’ve been doing this for years! It always turns into a bloodsport... Or y’know... Chaos. Like that one time with the ice. Was it ice? I forget.

This time, Nora got the ball and served it up again. Katie sent it flying with an extra shot over the net, which Cait barely caught before it hit. Luna followed up with a hard shot of her own, sending it whizzing past Katie’s head. Nora moved in behind her with a clubbing underhand shot that sent it back across. Just as Luna was about to hit it back, Rose shouted “Look out!” and caused her to glance towards her and allow the ball to hit the sand. The referee shrugged with a grin as Cait snatched the ball up with a scowl. 

Steph: Huh. Well there’s a point, though I don’t think Rose won any fans on Team Lait. Cuna? No, no. Definitely Team Lait.

Zack: Yeah, let’s go with Lait. As for Rose, we know she’s not the biggest fan of the Cortez sisters in whole or part.

Cait served it up, and fired it across the net without much trouble. Katie and Nora both headed for it, with Hanley returning it with ease. Luna shot it back, and Nora took control this time with an overhand shot that sent it past where Luna was standing. Cait dove into position, and sent it back with a little boost from Luna. As Cortez was landing on her feet, Katie fired it across just past her to score a second point for her team. 

Zack: Well we’re all tied up now, Steph. 2 points for both teams, even though Rose may be slightly leaning in favor of one over the other. 

Steph: Slightly you say?

Katie served up the last volley, and sent the ball hurtling over the net. Cait was there to stop it, and send it back before Nora returned the favor. Luna caught it with an uppercut as she dove into position, sending it back across the net. Katie used her head literally to send it back as she nearly ran into the net. Luna jammed a thumb in her eye between the netting, and allowed Cait to powerstrike the ball back to hit the sand. Rose blew the whistle as Katie rubbed her eye.

Zack: Looks like we got a winner, Steph. Through some underhanded tactics...in volleyball, Cait Flanagan and Luna Cortez have--

Rose raised both Katie and Nora’s hands to cheers from the onlookers, telling Luna she was disqualified for what she did. And that her neck was too long. Nora and Katie shook hands after that.

Steph: ...Rose, you can’t disqualify someone for their neck being too long. That’s not--

Zack: That’s definitely not in the standard rules of volleyball, but Rose’s decision is her decision. Luckily no titles were on the line.

Rose congratulated the two, leaving an annoyed pair in the form of Luna and Cait before the show cuts elsewhere.



Poolside with the Murder Machine

As the camera pans the pool party, we find Sara standing by with another guest of the show. This one is very familiar to fans as the reporter is standing next to Tiffany Tompkins, who is wearing a white see-through top over her black swimsuit, as well as her usual trademark sunglasses. She has a big smile on her face as she awaits her introduction.

Sara: The pool party is in full swing, folks. One of the guests that we have here today is none other than the “Murder Machine” herself, Tiffany Tompkins. The last time we saw her was against Katie Keller not long before Katie retired. Tiffany, welcome to the pool party!

Tiffany smirks as she looks up to Sara.

Tiffany: Thank you, it’s great to be here. Not my usual style but hey, when in Rome...

This makes Sara chuckle.

Sara: I was about to say. I hope you don’t mind my saying, but this kind of thing doesn’t really seem like it’s your kinda scene. Are you enjoying yourself?

Tiffany: I am. You know, most of my time is spent either in a ring, in the gym, or in 36th Street. It’s not everyday I get to come to the beach, and it’s nice to relax between moments of absolutely destroying my opponents. And why I got the invitation to be a part of this pool party? Well I couldn’t say no. Probably not the return that you were expecting though, am I right?

Sara is surprised by such a cool demeanor from the usually intense Five Foot Death Machine, but it’s a warming change.

Sara: Now the reason you are here, according to Adam, is because you had something on your mind that you wanted to share. Well the floor is yours, so go right ahead. 

Tiffany: Well, as much as I’ve loved working on my tan today, at the end of the day, it’s always back to business. And well, it’s been quite a while since I last had business in Future Shock. So I just wanna take this opportunity to issue an open challenge to anyone in Future Shock who thinks they have what it takes to take me on.

Sara: An open challenge, huh? What made you decide to come back here to Future Shock to issue it? 

Tiffany: I had such a great time last time I was in Future Shock, and it’s been a while since my last visit, so why not? I wanna fight the absolute best that Future Shock has to offer. There’s a reason to fear the future, and that’s because we’re gonna do better than anyone has ever done in this industry, and I want the world to get a glimpse of that. I want the best, and I won’t settle for anything less.

Sara: Well there’s a lot of girls here who I’m pretty sure would be happy to take you up on that offer. I’m also sure Adam may have some ideas too. Will you be joining us in Sydney 2 weeks from tonight? I’m positive you’ll find out who accepts it then, if not before.

Tiffany: Sydney? Well hell yeah you can count me in. And if anyone wants to pick a fight with me, I’ll be more than happy to give them one!

Sara: Alright then. There you have it, folks. Tiffany Tompkins has an open contract for anyone in Future Shock, and I’ll be curious to see who signs up to try their luck against her. 

Sara shakes her hand as we cut elsewhere at the pool party.



 

The next shot shows us another smaller pool, looking as though it were more for the children who visited the park. One side of the pool showed Alessandra and Nadia in black and pink swimsuits respectively. On the other side was Laurie Jane picking up the rope with Jane behind her. Jane was giving her some advice, but Laurie was completely ignoring her. 

Zack: It’s time for a little tug of war action. These two teams will be meeting in Sydney 2 weeks from tonight in the ring, but tonight….who’s gonna pull who into the water? 

Steph: Hmmm, I kinda feel like the LJE have... A SLIGHT size difference... Wait, we’ve got more incoming!

Before they start, Adam comes up and adds some people to each team. Joining the Laurie Jane Experience was Abigail Lindsay and Salem. Joining Target Acquired was Luci and Katya. Both sides grabbed their end of the rope. 

Zack: Look at that, the sides are a little more beefed up now. Some of our guests are gonna get in on the rope pull action. 

Steph: I wonder how this may change things...

Adam blew the whistle as the tug of war began. No side was getting much success at the start as Luci and Katya were trying to anchor the Target Acquired team by pulling backwards and down. Laurie’s face clenched as she and Jane were pulling all they could. It looked as though they were starting to make some traction though. 

Zack: We got a little bit of a dead heat here, but I think Nadia and Alessandra’s team are starting to lose a little ground here. 

Steph: Slowly but surely. They better dig in their heels here.

Alessandra dug in seemingly, and started pulling the other team back. Laurie was starting to get skidded forward on her heels. The stronger Esposito began making some headway as Laurie was dangerously close to going into the water. Salem and Abi’s faces were clenched as they were trying to stop that. Jane shouted at her team, trying to rally them as Laurie did everything in her power to avoid dipping into the water. 

Steph: It looks like Team Target Acquired is about to be victorious!

Zack: It certainly does, and it may be that extra strength behind them that’s helping. These guests have been very busy today.

Laurie’s team started to come back though as they began pulling their opponents forward instead. But the small momentum they had was starting to dissipate again as Katya and Luci were digging in again. Both members of the Laurie Jane Experience were being pulled forward against their wills as Salem seemed to be saying something under her breath as water splashed out of the pool at Target Acquired’s feet. They lost their footing and slid down right into the water. Laurie celebrated as Jane went to high five her, but got no recognition. Abi looked over to Salem, who strolled away with a smile on her face. 

Steph: ...I can’t help but feel like I’m sensing a trend here, Zack. Me *and* my bikini top from earlier.

Zack: I think, in your case, that it may have been flirting. But here, well Salem just doesn’t want to be on the losing team if she can help it.

Alessandra and Nadia looked suspicious as they climbed out of the kiddie pool, and were handed towels. They thanked Luci and Katya for their help as the show headed to a commercial break. 



 

On the final check-in, we see two empty pizza boxes now. And the eating has slowed down considerably too. Both Kat and Gaby aren’t eating nearly as quickly, and are taking bites very very slowly. 

Zack: Wow, 2 large Chicago deep dish pizzas and they are onto the third. Looks like they are trying to find some room right now.

Steph: Fear the power of the Chicago deep dish, Zack. Fear it. Respect it. Know it.

Sara is still monitoring the contest as Gaby finally waves her hand just as Kat takes one last bite. Sara calls the end of the contest before raising Kat’s hand in victory. But neither of the ring announcers look or feel like winners as they shove the pizza boxes away. That seems to give Katya and Abigail and Salem the nod as they scoop up a box each for themselves for a snack. 

Zack: Wow, those two are gonna be miserable for a while. I don’t see how either of them could eat that much. Good thing they are wearing swimwear instead of pants, because they’d need to unbutton them after all that. Congratulations to Kat though.

Steph: Future Shock is brought to you by Pepto Bismol. Find the pink stuff whenever you need relief from nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, and diarrhea.

Both Kat and Gaby prop up against the table, each of them looking as full as they’d ever been in their lives before the show heads to a commercial break. 

[Adam Grant]

 

After the commercial break, the show returns poolside to a very large pool with two platforms standing in the center of it several feet apart. A pair of ladders lead up to each pedestal. On one side is a swimsuit-clad Andi Takata. Standing behind her is Mars Whimsy, giving her a rubdown and trying to psych her up. On the other in a blue bikini is Stacey Sky, standing next to her manager who is sharing some thoughts with her as she looks up at the pedestals. 

Zack: In as much as a pool party can have a main event, this is ours. Andi and Stacey got introduced to one another at Wipeout, and it wasn’t a fun meeting...at least not for Stacey. So here we are in one of Future Shock’s oldest challenges and most popular, Steph: water joust. 

Steph: Personally I always liked Texas Hold ‘Em... But yes! Here we are.

Both girls start climbing their step ladders to make their way up to their respective pedestals, each picking up their pugil stick. Andi and Stacey stare across with derision at one another, and Takata starts twirling her stick and mocking Stacey. But the blonde doesn’t seem impressed or intimidated at all. 

Zack: For those unfamiliar, the rules are very simple for this game. The first one to knock their opponent into the water wins. Andi has a lot of experience in this game, Stacey is about to have her first outing. 

Steph: I hope she asked Lannister for some tips. Make your own jokes there.

The official poolside, Melinda Davis, blows her whistle to start the game. Andi continues twirling her stick litke a baton before coming to a stop and pointing it out at Stacey. The blonde swats it away, and starts taking shots towards her. Andi ducks and dodges them for a few seconds until blowing a raspberry at her...and then catching one shot upside her head. Stacey starts using the stick as a club as she begins driving it down across Andi’s shoulder and back. It only took three shots before Andi shoved it away, and went for a thrust into Stacey’s body. It caught her in the stomach. Stacey jerked her stick up between Andi’s legs, and dropped her to her knees. 

Zack: There’s not many worse places you can get hit with one of those pugil sticks. They weigh about ten pounds, even if they are padded, fans. 

Steph:  At least they aren’t flaming pugil sticks... That was an interesting season.

Andi clutches her lower body in pain, and Stacey immediately begins striking her with the stick. Three shots land on her back before another catches upside the head. Takata leans over the edge, and Stacey picks up the pace as she tries to send her over. Andi starts to come back though, and uses her stick to swat at Stacey’s. One hard swat nearly sent it out of the blonde’s hand, allowing Andi to return the favor and start walloping the “Sensational” prospect profusely.

Zack: Andi might have been a little rusty, given how long it’s been since she competed in one of these. But I think it’s coming back to her….and down on Stacey. 

Steph: She’s playing Whack-A-Stace. It’s big in Japan, dontcha know.

A low swipe of her stick knocks Stacey’s out of her hand to the water. She glances down with wide eyes, and Andi starts to smile as she unloads with shots to the body rapid-fire. Kyle dropped into the pool to retrieve his client’s stick, and headed up the ladder to give it to her. That didn’t sit well with Mars though, who darted around the pool and went up to get him down. Kyle was halfway up until Mars grabbed his foot. As he struggled to get free, Stacey was showing some agility as she dodged and parried Andi’s shots, including jumping over a couple as it passed under her feet. 

Steph: Kyle comes to do some shenanigans and Mars appears after to put a stop to it!

Zack: True, he’s not supposed to be bringing her pugil stick back. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. 

Andi went for her feet again, and Stacey jumped once more. This time, she landed with her foot on the stick. Andi tried to get it free before Stacey grabbed the other end. Then it became a tug of war os Stacey tried pulling Andi off the pedestal, but the alien princess refused to let go. Kyle turned around, and sat on a step before stomping Mars in the face with his free foot. That got him free as he doubled back up the step ladder and handed Stacey her pugil stick back.

Zack: He just stomped Mars in the face! I guess it’s a good thing he wasn’t wearing shoes, but that was uncalled for. 

Steph: Well, she’ll know to step on him next time she’s facing one of his clients.

Stacey glanced behind her to see Kyle heading her way with her pugil stick. When he handed it to her, she thanked him just before Andi jerked her weapon free and sent the blonde off balance. And with a spinning motion, she rotated a full 360 degrees to deliver a shot that knocked the off balance Stacey and her manager into the pool. The whistle blew again as Andi pumped her pugil stick over her head like a Tusken raider from Star Wars. 

Steph: Hey. I understand that reference.

Zack: Now we just need some Jawas. 

Stacey popped up out of the water, looking around for Kyle and checking on him. Mars headed up to the other pedestal, and picked up the pugil stick Stacey had dropped. She and Andi touched sticks like the beginning of a lightsaber battle. 

Zack: Andi picks up another win, but I’m sure Stacey will say her concern over her manager got her distracted. Because you know...it’s water. 

Steph: When Andi left Mars she was but the learner... And Kyle seems to inspire that sort of loyalty. Remember when he went to the hospital?

Zack: The fun and games are over for now though, fans! 2 weeks from tonight ONLY on FFW All Access will be our Sydney Supershow with the Future Shock and Aspire titles on the line! And we’ll also crown the first Nova Champion too! Don’t miss it, sign up for All Access right now! And we’ll see you in Sydney!

It looked like another pugil stick battle was about to begin as Mars and Andi faced each other, and did a bow before lifting their sticks ready for battle. On that image, Future Shock faded off the air.